Patti's Blog

What if he doesn’t invite me home for the holidays?


Ah! The holidays are a cheerful time of celebrating and embracing the ones you love. CUE THE RECORD SCRATCH! Let’s get real. The holidays are a time of stress and pressure, especially for a new couple. The “will he, won’t he” back and forth of getting invited to his family’s home for the holidays can be overwhelming. It can suck all the joy out of the holidays and put a major damper on your relationship. So, here are some tips on how to approach a possible “non-vitation” back home with your boo during the holidays.

Talk To Him

Of course my first step is to talk to your guy about how you’re feeling. And if you can’t talk to him about your feeling yet, it totally makes sense that he’s not inviting you home to meet his family. You two just aren’t close enough to move to the level of the family meet and greet. However, if you are comfortable expressing your feelings to your man, you definitely should. Find a quiet time to bring it up. Let him know how you’re reacting to the situation and ask him why he didn’t make the invite. You have to respect his wishes—you’re not going to crash his family’s Christmas dinner—but you can ask for some clarification on his reasoning.

Decide How You Feel And Act On It

After you’ve heard him out, take some time to digest what he said. And I mean it when I say take some time. Your initial gut reaction to a serious conversation like the one you just had likely isn’t the most mature and thoughtful response. Give yourself an opportunity to get there. Once you’ve taken a beat, it’s decision time. You can decide that this is a total deal breaker and you’re hurt past the point of no return. In that case, you have to break up with him as soon as possible. Or, you can decide that this is hurtful, but understandable and you want to stay with him. If you decide to stay with him, you need to understand that this isn’t something you can bring up and rub in his face. “You didn’t invite me home, so I get to choose the movie tonight and you have to run out and get me my favorite dessert.” Nope, not happening. You need to accept his decision and just move on with your relationship with no bad blood spilled.

Do Something Fun

Alright, so you’re not going to his house for the holidays like you planned. Do something awesome for yourself. Maybe it’s splurging on crazy expensive tickets to visit your family. Or you could host your own holiday dinner at your place with all of your orphan friends. If everyone you know really is out of town, turn the time alone into a long at-home spa weekend. Basically, you just have to treat yourself well during the holidays, so you’re not moping about not being with your boo.

I’d totally invite you over to my holiday dinner, if that makes you feel any better! Love you all!