AskPatti

Why you can’t find your Fall fling

fallflingloveGuys, I haven’t forgotten about my #AskPatti column at all! I’ve just been answering a lot more of the questions I get on Twitter during live chats instead of saving them all up to do a weekly column. However, I got this question tweeted at me and it deserves more of an answer than 140 characters. So, here we go. First, the question.

I have a few thoughts on this. First up, why are you looking for a “Fall/Winter mate”? Are you a fish that can only mate in certain weather before swimming upstream? Why the seasonality? You should be on the look out for a person who doesn’t come with a timestamp. Maybe you’re not finding a match because you’re discounting anyone who is quality enough to last year round. Have you ever thought of that? Broaden your horizons and be open to a long term commitment and you’ll be amazed by what comes your way.

Secondly, there is absolutely no way that online doesn’t work. Online dating works wonderfully well. What’s not working is how you’re doing online dating. That’s a whole different story! I haven’t seen your profile, so I can’t offer any specific advice. But, first I’d say get online. Then I’d say try new sites online that you haven’t tried before. If you’re still not getting any traction, then the problem is very clearly with your profile. Think about your ideal partner. Then think about what he or she would want in a partner. (Spoiler alert: Everything you think of should be the best and most outstanding qualities about you!) Tailor your profile to be that person while still reflecting you. Take out jokes or anything snide. Just genuinely be the best version of yourself in your profile and get a few super hot professional pictures and you’ll be in business.

Thirdly, change your attitude. You’ll never meet anyone if you think you’re never going to meet anyone. Who wants to partner up with someone who’s bitter and negative? Yuck! Plus, I’m a big believer in attracting the things you want from the Universe through positive thoughts and actions. Think positively about your love life, envision yourself being happy and loved and you’ll hook a great person that will last you way past the winter months.

I hope you found these tips practical and helpful enough. I’m always here for my tweeties! So, keep those questions coming. I’ll either answer you here or on Twitter.

Photo credit: Marcus Zorbis / CC BY-NC

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