The Men's Room - Love and Relationship Advice From a Man For Women

What To Do When Your Ex Turns Up Online!

Woman sees her ex onlineHave you ever run into an ex-boyfriend online? The chances are, if it hasn’t happened to you yet, it probably will. Before the world was over-run with social networking sites, we didn’t have to worry about spotting your ex-boyfriend frolicking naked with some stripper on Facebook, or seeing that he’s “looking for love” on Twitter, but the world’s a much smaller place now.

If you use Facebook, Twitter, or any of those sites you have to accept, at some time or another you’ll catch a glimpse of what your old flames up to now. What do you do if you spot him online? Should you get in contact? Do you snoop through all his photos? Or are you best just to ignore him?

One day you get an excited phone call from your friend. “Do you know who I spotted on Match.com today? I saw your ex. He’s looking for love. Got a hot photo of himself too!”

Some friend by the way who says something like this, but you know what I mean. So, now you’re intrigued. What’s he got on his profile? What’s he said about himself? What does he look like now?

It’s going to feel strange, but you have to put any hurt aside, and you definitely don’t want to start romanticizing about the past.

You’ll probably feel a mix of emotions right now. It’s not easy seeing someone you once shared your heart with, publicly advertising himself to other women.  It’s going to feel strange, but you have to put any hurt aside, and you definitely don’t want to start romanticizing about the past. Remember you’re not together for a reason. Don’t start thinking about the good times, and wondering if things would be better second time around.

If he’s online and looking for another woman, he’s making a public statement he’s moving on. You should do the same. Don’t get hung up on the past, and don’t start digging around his online profiles. You’re going to see things that will stir emotions and they don’t help you. Ignore what you see. Don’t worry about who he’s talking to. None of it matters to you anymore.

This whole issue is a modern problem. In the “old” days, when you broke up with someone you’d never see them again, unless you had one of those awkward moments where you bump into him and his next girlfriend in public.

I remember it happening to me a couple of times. I took a girl to the movie theatre and right in front of me in the queue was one of my ex’s. It was a weird moment but it passed in seconds. Now the Internet makes it easy to look up your ex, but you need to resist the temptation. You know the best thing you can do when you see your ex online?

Quietly embrace it. Congratulate him. Be happy he’s moving on. It’s all part of relationships. Just because you were together you don’t have first refusal on him, and you can’t be jealous of other women because you’re not a couple anymore.

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