Nail biting, online shopping, social media refreshing, singing along to any and every Taylor Swift song at my lungs’ full capacity. We all have bad habits that we’re working on. Some bad habits are more annoying to our partners than others. My Taylor Swift volume problem might fall into that category. One thing that really gets under my skin is procrastination. I’m such a get-er-done person that procrastination makes no sense to me. It really bugs me when my partner is a procrastinator. If you’re like me and seriously don’t get, but get seriously annoyed by, procrastination and are dating a procrastinating dude, here’s what I think you should do… immediately. Don’t put it off!
Talk to him
No one likes procrastination, even procrastinators! Your procrastinating boo might not realize just how much you don’t like procrastination, though. So, let him know. Have specific examples of times you asked him to do something and he didn’t do it. And then share how that made you feel. Believe me, he’s not doing this to hurt you. It’s a bad habit he has that has just impacted him up until this point. Show him how it impacts you in a calm and detailed way and hopefully that will motivate him to change.
Create a plan
Once you’ve explained how you feel, tell him how you want him to handle similar situations in the future. Make a plan together of how to prioritize things that you want him to do. For example, cleaning his dishes or calling a roof repair team may be things you need him to do immediately when issues come up. But, organizing his underwear drawer might be less urgent and fine to procrastinate on. Help him figure out how to know when to pull the trigger and when to indulge his need for procrastination. You’re creating a plan for the two of you to be happy together, not signing up to be his mom. So, the plan can’t be that you’ll nag him until he does what you want. The plan is about communication, organization and execution and shouldn’t be something you need to remind him about continuously.
Accept or reject
We all know that we can’t change people, no matter how hard we try. That’s just out of our control. So, if your procrastinating man isn’t changing at all, then you need to decide if this is something you can accept. If it is, good for you. No one’s perfect and we all need to compromise. So what if dishes aren’t put away right now, there are a lot of really great parts of your relationship that make you feel valued and taken care of. If, however, the procrastination makes you feel ignored or undervalued and you can’t accept it, then it’s time to move along. You can’t change him, but you can change the situation.
Hope that helps you deal with your little procrastinator…right now!