Winter is here and even though I’m in California where I don’t experience a truly brutal winter, there’s something about the shorter days that give winter a real icky vibe. Even without blustery winds, there are so many days when I want to put my hair in a top knot (and not a cute Urban Outfitters catalog top knot, a totally gross one that’s flat and greasy, but still frizzy in a way that seems to defy science) and wear sweats all day. And when there are a lot of those days in a row, you can start to feel pretty gross about yourself. And when you’re feeling gross about yourself, it’s tough to get into the mood for sex. It’s a lot easier to get into the mood for those chocolate covered Trader Joe’s shortbread star cookies. But, sex is a crucial part of your relationship, so it’s important to find a way to feel sexy, even when you’ve been feeling gross. GET IN THE MOOD!
When I get into the winter blues, I totally let everything go. I don’t treat myself well, so it’s no wonder I start to feel gross. Stop the cycle and treat yourself with something that will snap you out of the winter blues. Maybe it’s getting a manicure or taking a bath. It could also be a phone call to a friend or taking 15 minutes to play a game on your iPhone. Think of something small that will make you feel special and then do it. I’d even put a reminder in my calendar to do it weekly as a regular way to keep the winter blues away.
We know what’s sexy to the general male gaze. We’ve been fed it since the first time we saw a screen or read a magazine. But, that doesn’t mean that what’s generally considered sexy is what’s sexy to you. So, get personal with yourself and think about what you can wear or do in the morning that will make you feel sexier all day long…and therefore more in the mood for sex. One of my friends feels the sexiest when she’s wearing a turtleneck another really feels great in yoga pants because she loves her ass. Think about yourself. Is it a red lip, vampy nails, comfy jeans? Figure it out and then rock that item or look all day. Be sure to check yourself out in the mirror a ton so you can see how fly you look.
Hit the vibrator
Crank your own wheel by masturbating. Your body might need a little reminder of just how great sex can feel. A jumpstart from your vibrator could do the trick and get you back in the rhythm of wanting sex. Taking that alone time to get yourself off could be setting your boo and you up for a ton of great love making in your future.
Nothing will get you in the mood like a good romance novel. Their descriptions of relationships and physical intimacy are just enough to get your imagination going to create the sexy scene of your dreams. And I’m willing to bet that a quick dive into a romance book will slingshot you into the mood for sex lickety-split.
Talk to your partner
Your partner may not know how off you’re feeling, so let them know. Then they can help you get in the mood by putting some extra effort into foreplay or letting you know how damn sexy they find you. Of course, your partner can’t actually make you feel anything. But, a little encouragement from someone you care about can really help get the wheels turning to get you in the mood.
Hope that helps you shake whatever is making you feel crummy this winter and get back to being your sexy self!