Matchmaking 101 - Office Hours with Lisa Clampitt

Top 10 First Date Deal Breakers

Woman looks irritated on a bad first dateIt’s a Friday night, you’ve met someone you have great chemistry with, that shares common interests and relationship goals with you, and you’ve got yourself a date! Sounds great, right?

Even with all of these dating puzzle pieces in place, it is still very possible to make such a bad impression on date number one that any chance of a second date flies right out the window.

So that this doesn’t happen to you, here are 10 first date deal breakers that you should avoid at all costs if you want to get to date number two.

1. Needy Pre-Date Behavior

It’s perfectly okay to exchange a few texts or a quick phone call before a first date, but do NOT text your date all day long the day before your date, or expect them to talk with your for hours on the phone. Keep your exchanges short and sweet leading up to your night out together. Save the conversation for when you meet in person.

2. Being Picky

It’s never a good thing to be too picky about where your date chooses to take you. If every restaurant idea or location they throw out isn’t good enough for you, your date will very quickly be turned off. Keep an open mind and be ready to try something new!

3. Acting Flakey

No one wants to get a text five minutes before a date saying the other person can’t make it. Unless you broke both of your legs on the way to the date, never, ever cancel your date at the last minute…especially via text.

4. Tardiness

Do not show up late for your date! Your date will feel that you were being disrespectful of their time, and did not place importance on spending time with them. Guys: getting there a few minutes early to scope out the date location is a great idea.  Ladies: show up right on time so the man isn’t waiting around for you.

5. Appearance

Arriving at your date, especially if it is a dinner date at a nice restaurant, looking well put together is extremely important. First impressions mean a lot, so you want to make the best one possible. Wear something you feel comfortable and confident in. Bad breath, sloppy outfit choices, or forgetting to shower are huge no-nos.

6. Giving in to Distraction

A first date, or any date for that matter, is not the time to answer a call, send a text message, tweet to your friends, or check out other people in the restaurant. Your focus should be fully on your date.  Period. Keep your eyes on the prize.

7. Bad Manners

Of course table manners are important, but there are a lot of other ways you can display bad manners on a date that would be a deal breaker. Don’t treat the wait staff at the restaurant poorly. Don’t drink too much, eat with your mouth open, get up in the middle of the date for a cigarette break…etc. etc.

8. Inappropriate Conversation

Don’t talk about your ex! Even though this should be obvious, I hear clients complain all the time about their date breaking this rule. Your date does not want to hear about your past relationships. Keep your focus on the person in front of you, and conversation centered on asking them fun and interesting questions.

9. Over Eagerness

A first date is not the time to talk about wanting five children and getting married by next month. Planning your future before you’ve eve been asked out on date number two is the dating kiss of death.

10. Not Following Up

After the date, if you had a nice time make sure you say thank you to your date! Sending a quick text or email the next day that says something like, “Thank you so much, I had such a nice time!” goes a long way. This is especially true if your date paid for the evening.

Avoid these 10 deal breakers and you should be good to go! Check back in here next week to read my list of the 10 surefire ways to get asked on a 2nd date.

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  • Kerrie Brancazio

    I agree with all of these first date rules. My question is this: Do you believe in instant chemistry or do you think that it is something that has to develop over time? My friends and I are debating this. Looking forward to seeing you at the Southern Women’s Show in Raleigh tomorrow! Thanks.

  • caleeyah

    Who should pay on the first date ?