Let’s face it; dating as a single parent is challenging. Time constraints, worrying about other people’s expectations and fear of the unknown can often make the process feel stressful and complicated. Still, the obstacles that we face while dating as single parents shouldn’t deter us from looking for our next big love and even having some fun.
One of the things I struggled with most as a single parent starting to date was guilt. Are you feeling a pang of single parent guilt over wanting to spend time with someone other than your child? Stop. Adults require adult attention and your child should not be your constant companion. While it’s great to love spending time with them, revolving your life around your time together can make your child feel solely responsible for your happiness.
Talk about pressure!
Learn from my slip-up. After my separation, I mistakenly relied on my connection with my son to fill the gap that was left by no longer having a romantic relationship in my life. While being with my son is one of the many things that makes me happy, it took getting back into dating to remember I had other needs that my child could never fulfill.
As a single parent, you deserve intimacy, understanding, companionship, reassurance, encouragement and romance that can only be fulfilled by another adult. So stop feeling guilty and start thinking about the type of partner you’d like to wake up next to this time around.
Have a lot on your plate? Believe me, I feel you. When I first started dating as a busy single mom it seemed like a chore. Most days I was already juggling too many balls, so the thought of throwing a man’s into my routine sounded less sexy and more like an accident waiting to happen.
The thing is, Dianna Ross was right when she sang love don’t come easy. It may sound cliché, but having a dating life doesn’t happen unless you choose to make it happen. That involves getting off your ass, planning, and truly believing you deserve to do something for yourself.
If you’ve been focused intently on work and your children’s activities, force yourself to carve out some time in that crazy schedule of yours to get back into dating.
Want more romance, sex, and love in your single parent life? Make a commitment to get your mojo back. If you’ve been focused intently on work and your children’s activities, force yourself to carve out some time in that crazy schedule of yours to get back into dating.
What’s worked best for me? Online dating. As a single mom who’s chasing her dreams, my time is valuable. Using the Internet allows me to scope out potential dates at home, or even on the go (Hello mobile apps!) when and where it’s convenient for me. Plus, I like getting a glimpse into who someone is by reading their profile and messaging back and forth with them, rather than basing my initial attraction exclusively on looks.
While I haven’t met the love of my life yet online, I’ve met a lot of interesting men and had some great adventures. And really, that’s what dating is all about isn’t it?
If you’re itching to date again, stop making excuses and go for it! However you choose to get back in the game, have fun with your single parent dating experience and go at your own pace.