Dating

Sex And The Single Mom: Finding Your Confidence Naked

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Knocking boots with someone new as a single mom is a scary thought for a lot of people. Prior to your separation or divorce you probably shared a bed with the same person for years. Most likely, that person understood the toll a pregnancy, C-section and/or breastfeeding took on your body because they were there by your side through it all.

Sure they remembered your 20-something, pre-baby body fondly, but they also looked at who you became after fondly too. Or, maybe they didn’t, which makes the idea of taking your clothes off with someone new even more intimidating.

As a single mom, taking the plunge to have sex in my 30s, with a post-kid body was no easy task, especially since my last relationship was with a man that would rather masturbate most nights than have sex with me.  To say my self-esteem was in the toilet after that ended was an understatement.

At the time I didn’t realize that was his issue and not my body’s. Instead I blamed the stretch marks on my stomach and my less-than-perky breasts that had once fed my son for his leaving me. It wasn’t until months later, when I stepped out of my comfort zone and bared it all for someone new that I began to realize I was still desirable as a mom.

Not feeling so hot? I’m a strong believer in faking it until you make it

While the first time you have sex as a single mother can be scary, sad, or down right strange, it can also be exciting, fun, and bow-chicka-bow-wow amazing. In my experience, the more confidence you exude, the better it will be.

Not feeling so hot? I’m a strong believer in faking it until you make it.

I remember a woman telling me shortly after my separation that the buffet of men she devoured after her divorce changed her life. At the time I could never have understood what she meant. I’d never devoured a man before let alone several of them.

Was I capable?  Where would a shy woman like me find the confidence to even attempt such a thing?

With each new man I was intimate with, I found something new to love about my body.

I knew the only way I was ever going to find out and find my inner sexpot was if I faced my insecurities and dove into the casual dating pool. With each new man I was intimate with, I found something new to love about my body. The flings I had during my first few years as a single mom made me more confident in my own naked skin than any of the long-term relationships I’d been in before.

The truth is my sex life as a single mom has been more fulfilling than it ever was before child.  I’m not saying I never get nervous before getting intimate with someone new, but I know what I lack in the perfect body department I make up for with my experience.

I know who I am now and I know what I like.  And that’s sexier than my pre-kid, 20-year-old self ever was.

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  • Stanislav

    I also totally follow up that fake it ’til you make it!!