When you’re single, there is always the slight chance that today will be the day when you meet the person you’ve been looking for, and along with that comes many, many hopes for the future. While looking ahead and being optimistic is always a great thing, it can also put you in a sort of holding pattern when it comes to the present day. Do you find yourself thinking things like: When I have a boyfriend, I will finally be totally happy? If so, you’re waiting for a relationship to complete you, to fill a void and then, and only then will you be 100% satisfied with your life. But…what about right now? Don’t you deserve 100% right now, today, this moment? Because what happens when you do fall in love, and it’s wonderful and magic…and yet, you still aren’t happy or complete. Breaking news! No relationship can complete you. Here is why.
1. Too Much Pressure
Dating and falling in love is difficult enough without the added pressure of needing someone to fulfill your every hope and dream, and be responsible for your day to day happiness. It’s simply too much pressure to put on a relationship and a person, and soon the guy or girl that you’re dating might begin to resent being the sole reason for your smile or your tears on any given day.
2. You Don’t Truly Know What You Want
When you’re desperately seeking something, someone, anyone, to make you happy, it’s because you don’t know what exactly it is that you really need-so you’ll just try everything! I’ve yet to hear of a healthy relationship that stemmed from desperation, have you? It ultimately leads to routinely dating the wrong people and a cycle of frustration and breakups, which only solidifies your unhappiness. It’s a vicious cycle, at that! Taking time to determine what exactly you want from a date or a relationship will prevent you from dating any old Tom, Dick or Harry who never stood a chance at making you happy, anyway.
3. You Have Unrealistic Expectations
The sky will not part when you fall in love, rainbows and unicorns will not appear, your life won’t magically improve over night just because you got yourself a boyfriend. Nope, the same problems you had when you were single will still be there, this time even possibly magnified since you’re sharing your life with someone and now have to deal with their opinions or issues as well. A relationship isn’t a one size fits all band-aid. Life will still be difficult from time to time, and chances are once the shiny, sparkly, newness of the relationship wears off and the real world sets in again, you’ll find yourself disappointed that you still aren’t happy. If this isn’t an indication to look within, I’m not sure what would be. Changing your relationship status on Facebook doesn’t always translate into real, true, solid happiness. For that, you’ve got to stop looking for it in someone you’re dating, and turn your gaze inward. You’ve got everything you need right inside.