Relationships

Spending the holiday apart: How to deal with distance this time of year

The holidays are the worst time of year to start a relationship. I’m not saying close up your love shop and stop looking for love from October through January, but just know it’s going to be tough if you find a new boo during those months. Thanksgiving and Christmas can mean up to two full weeks apart in a six-week period. I’m no mathematician, but take that, add on the holiday parties that you’re not going to together because you were each invited to separate parties on the same night, and you have way too much time apart for a fledgling relationship. Of course, there are ways to make it work, but you’ve got to work to make it happen.

Set expectations

Like just about every relationship piece I write here on PattiKnows, step one is to communicate. Talk about the fact that you’re going to be apart over the holidays, and hash out a communication plan. This doesn’t have to be a bunch of scheduled Outlook invites, but just a general idea. It might be, “Hey babe, my family’s totally overwhelming, and I get no cell service there, so calls and texts are going to be limited,” or “I’ll call you every night.” Whatever works for your situations is fine. Just be open about it before you head off on your separate travel plans.

Stick to agreements

Whatever you guys decide to do, stick to it. If you say you’ll call every three days when you’re in Romania visiting your second cousins, you better find a way to do it. This is a crucial time in your relationship to build trust, and you need to follow through. Also, I mean stick to it in terms of expectations too. If he said he’ll only be able to shoot off one text a day, expect that. If he says he can’t call at all, accept that. Don’t hope that he’ll magically not have to babysit his four nephews all week and can gab with you all day on text.

Make plans to look forward to

Have a fun return date planned before you leave. That way you’ll have a hard and fast date of when you’ll see each other again and something really fun to look forward to. Better yet, make that date your holiday gift to each other. Maybe it’s a cooking class or a concert you both want to see. A fun and meaningful date will make your reunion all the sweeter.

Get frisky on the phone

Make your time away a little more manageable by getting a little frisky, even when you can’t frisk together. A flirty text here or a sexy pic there can really make long distance feel a lot closer. Word to the wise: Phones get hacked all the time, and pictures go where they’re not supposed to. So keep your electronic evidence PG-13. But some of the hottest movies are PG-13. 10 Things I Hate About You, anyone?

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