Relationships

What should your number be?

What’s the perfect number? SeekingArrangement.com recently came out with a study saying that 10 is the magic number. Per this study, both men and women want their partner to have slept with 10 other people before them. Any more would be considered promiscuous, and any less would seem inexperienced. I’m not quite sure I’m sold on this number. And even though I recognize that sex is a huge deal in a relationship, I’m not convinced that the number of people you’ve slept with previously should have any bearing on your current relationship. Here’s what I think.

Perfection kinda sucks

When I was younger, I stressed a ton about getting the perfect body, finding the perfect man and gunning for my perfect career. It wasn’t until I relaxed a little and realized that I should focus on what made me happy instead of what was considered perfect that I was actually able to enjoy my life a whole lot more. I lost the weight in a healthy way, instead of a stressful one. I’m dating a man who isn’t perfect, but is perfect for me. And I really found success with my career when I did what made me happy, even if it was a little against the grain. Don’t stress about perfection and do what makes you happy, especially when it comes to between-the-sheets action.

Don’t share

Of course I love relationships where couples are open and share nearly everything. But there are some things I don’t recommend sharing. And one of them is your number. Per SeekingArrangement’s study, a majority of both men and women would rather not know their partner’s number. You see, a number is just that — a number. It has no story behind it. There’s a guy out there whose number is 35, but they were all one-night stands. And there’s a woman out there whose number is one, but she was in a very sexually satisfying relationship for over 10 years. Just hearing their number, though, you wouldn’t know anything real about their sexual experiences. I recommend you share yourself with your man, rather than your statistics.

Safety counts

When it comes to your sexual history, your number isn’t important, but your safety is. As long as you’re engaging in safe sex, I say your number can be as high or as low as you want. And I don’t mean just physically safe sex, I mean emotionally safe sex too. Be sure you want to have sex and you know what it means in the context of your relationship every time you have sex. I don’t think your number holds much weight, but if each guy you’ve slept with is a deep emotional scar, then while that number doesn’t say much about your promiscuity, it could say something about your emotional health.

Do you guys agree with me? Let me know. I have a feeling you’ll have a lot to say, and I can’t wait.

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One Response to What should your number be?

  1. Bee says:

    I really like your advice!! I’ve been struggling with my number for awhile worried about what my future bf or husband would think.

    Thank you so much!!

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