Patti's Blog

Could it be love? Signs that he’s starting to fall for you

You’ve found a cutie-patootie that makes you smile, makes your heart pitter patter and makes you a little juicy goosey. Congratulations! Initial attraction is important but just remember, it’s love when you can run errands together. If you’re still hesitating to celebrate the new dude because you’re stressing about him falling for you too, here are a few of the biggies when it comes to telltale signs that your relationship could be on its way to Heartsville. I’ve been there. It’s tough because you don’t want to scare him away with “the talk” too early, but once you hit a certain milestone you have to tell him what you want. My advice is to look for hints that he’s inching towards head over heels.

The future talk

Really listen to what he’s saying. Is he talking about you two together when he talks about his future? And it doesn’t have to be super serious moves like combining your 401(k) accounts. What I mean is, is he hinting at little things in the near future? Is it Memorial Day and he’s already asking you about Fourth of July plans? If yes, then he could be falling. Hints like this means he can picture himself with you for a while longer, which is as much as you can ask for when you’ve just been together for a short while. If he proposes things like cooking you dinner, meeting his guy friends, or taking you on dates that involve with his hobbies, he probably thinks there’s something positive between you guys.

Friends & family

Think back on the few weeks you’ve had together. Who has he introduced you to? Is it just his doorman and the drive-thru guy at Wendy’s? Not good. But, if he’s introduced you to his bestie, his brother or even co-workers, you’re on the right track. Introductions to important people in his life mean that you’re on the track to becoming an important person in his life.

On his mind

Look for little signs that you’re on his mind, even when you’re not together. Did he text you a picture of something you’d think was funny? Did you mention that you liked doughnuts on your last date, so he showed up for your next hang out with a box of Entenmann’s? Little hints that indicate he’s thinking about you when you’re apart is a good indication that you’re on your way to a loving relationship.

Trust your gut

As girls, our gut is our best friend. (I mean that metaphorically. Literally, we work hard to get rid of our gut!) You need to trust yours. If you’re not thinking straight, here’s a tip. Pretend you’re listening to your best friend talk about her new guy when you think about your new relationship. Honestly, would you be happy that she’s finally found a good guy in the slew of wackadoos out there or worried about her getting hurt by this guy who doesn’t seem that into her? If it’s the first, good for you and your loving future. If it’s the later, well, I say follow your gut more than your heart. It’s normally the smarter of the two. If you let lust steer you off course, finding Mr. Right will be a longer journey than it needs to be. Don’t be afraid to give him another chance or a few more dates to see where it goes – if you still don’t think he’s the guy for you, don’t waste your time or his!

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  • Dana leanne

    I’ve been dating a guy that I really like for 9 months, he’s introduced me to his mother but only one of his friends, which was unplanned. He has expressed that he really likes me but needs to move slowly in the relationship. I think it’s strange that he felt comfortable with introducing me to his mom but not his friends…am I over thinking or is he not that in to me?

    • Umamy

      In my opinion, you are really just over thinking it. If he is Mr. Right you should feel so comfortable with each other as if you’ve known each other for ever and feel inseparable. That’s how I felt when I met my husband and that’s the feeling that many people describe as “you just know when is the one” for you. Good luck :)

  • Denise

    Patty, can u talk about narcissists ??

    • Chance

      Stay away from Narcissts…they call you crazy, have NO conscience, NO empathy and I have been through 20 years of Hell….Courts/Cops/Lawyers…they never change so self absorbed!!!!!!

  • http://www.saccityeats.com Anna K.

    Hi Patti! I had a man in my life that did ALL of the above. He sent me funny texts, we went on vacations together, He introduced me to his family members, co-workers etc. Worst of all – my gut told me he LOVED me. But i was wrong. When I confided in him my desire to have a relationship with him, he recoiled and claimed he only loved me as a “friend”. What did i miss? He did everything you mentioned above…

    • renee

      He does love you but he is scared and you telling him made him realize that he loves you more than he would like! My advice ” move on” . Not literally but make him squirm tell him about the dates you have ” as his friend”, ignore his calls and tell him that you are busy, and last but not lease have a male friend answer your phone and play it off as such. He will get jealous and he will ask you questions as i fhe has the right to and although in your mind he does dont let that show. This is a huge game sweetheart and you got to play the game. Its a game that woman really know how to play and thats that! Hewill come back an declair his love for you!

      • Adey J

        Ignore Renee. You are “friend zoned” and just need to tell him its time to stop seeing each other – even if he comes back, its not because he really loves you just wants something he can’t have. And that’s advise from a man.

  • Derek

    Patti, don’t you think you should be totally happy in a relationship before you become the know all for them? Just curious. You have a lot of input to offer but from what I read you aren’t practicing your own “preach” so to say. Just curious. What makes you the authority, or even certified??

    • adventure

      Derek, the most successful business people are those that have failed many times, never given up, learn from failures and then succeeded, NOT the ones that were already successful at first attempt. Apply that to Patti and you will get my point!!

      Its called lesson 101, and yet no one seems to have basic common sense to understand it. Common sense is not common afterall!

  • PAULA

    I have been dating the wrong guys for so long!!! Been on my own for many years….finally met this person about a year and half ago. We went on a few dates back then, but both of us were coming off bitter relationships so with that said we only had a few dinners then went our separate ways. Recently I approached him as he was on my mind for quite some time. I was completely out of and moved on from the on/off relationship and he moved on from his past. (at least I thought).

    We have been dating about 3 1/2 months, met his whole family spent a alot of time with each other but not every day! Which I really liked. Seemed like we were on the right track. We did go to his family’s camp for a big family get together. A little conversation we had scared him in regards to a disagreement. This he took as a confrontation and immediately shut down when we returned on Sunday. The whole ride back (2hrs) we talked about going away on the sailboat, taking the motorcycle our kayaks on a long weekend trip in the fall. Then Monday nothing more from him. It has been almost three weeks and he hasn’t talked. I take that back I did approach him about a week ago and he had told me it was him. He doesn’t know why he retreated back into his own little world. Said I over whelm him, how could someone like me want him, he asked. Told me I was the whole package. My response to him was “why is it that you and I can’t discuss this together”.

    I really like him alot and thought he was it!!! I too have dated the “BAD” boys in my life…”T” as I will call him brought me to a whole new life, T made me feel alive again and to the point that I could and want to LOVE again. I am so heartbroken and miss him so very much.

    Please if you could give me some advise I would greatly appreaciate it.

    Missing my “T”

    • Eliza

      Have one more cry after this NO MORE and here’s what you do… Ready? OK…Leave him to it… There’s better T’s and D’s (private) out there! Get your mind right before you go back out there… Build yourself up and another thing sweet pea, go to single events and singe conferences! Listen to talks and be inspired and encouraged…. You’ll find him but be patient and I recommend keepin a journal NOW RIGHT NOW intact of your previous dating history… Where you feel you went wrong and what you think you should do now… Focus on the whole package you before you get out there!
      Once this is done… Go on rewardingrelationships.net get a consultation and then buy the why men love bitches book by SHERRY ARGOV. Get yourself ready and fully together for MR RIGHT. Please note: MR right can’t appear til your right and ready!!! So hurry up he’s waiting on you…. Good luck and lots of love x

  • Julie G

    4 weeks into the relationship of a lifetime. Known each other casually for 4 years. Finally we both were at a point in our life that we can be together, went out to dinner 4 weeks ago and spent 6 hours talking, no awkward silence, total comfort. Found out we both have watched the other from a far for years.

    It’s love. We’ve both said it and feel it. The most awesome feeling I’ve ever had. When it happens you’ll know.

    Thank you God for all the things you’ve done to lead us to where we can be together.

    thanks Patti for all your great relationship advice.

  • Spring

    Hi Patti,

    I have been dating this guy for almost 4 yrs. We both talked about how we would like to settle down & get married again if we found the right person. About a year later we touched on this topic again & he said that he doesn’t know where he wants to be in his life. He is in his early 50′s & I am in my early 40′s. He’s been trying to find work & says now that he wants to be established & make sure he can take care of himself before having to worry about taking care of someone else. He is not a poor man, quite the opposite, actually. I let him know that he doesn’t have to ‘take care of me’. I am very independant, worked @ the same place for 14 yrs, my own house & vehicle. He also says that since he is older he may die b4 me, WHAT?!?!

    In the meantime, I still have sleep-overs @ his house everyweekend & we have fun, laugh & enjoy eachother BUT… Why buy the cow, you know???

    Anyway, he says to give him more time and he will find work & get his life on track… BUT.. Help!!! It’s been 4 yrs and I don’t want to spend 6 or 10 yrs waiting & letting him decide my future! But I don’t want to throw in the towel because we are great together & never had arguments or fights, until this discussion arises about 1/yr.

    What would you do? I love all of your information!

    • Adey J

      you have “sleep-overs” – what like a play date? If he wanted to be with you he would be. You need to move on and definitely not use phases like “sleep-over”

  • Cassandra

    A question on mixed signals….I have been dating a wonderful man for three months without any traditional dates initiated by him. I am taken to his hobbies, get togethers/work functions with his friends but seldom does he initiate fun or romantic time or dancing with the two of us. Often when he goes out to really have fun I am not invited. Am I not seeing something here? Or is this an exercise in patience…

    • renee

      Play the game sweetheart! Go with him but on your own time have fun of your own dont tell him where you are going but that you are having a night out with the girls and that will drive him crazy… if he calls you while you are out or texts you saying things like hit me up when you get home or hey are you having fun that lets you know he is thinking about you when you are out at the club enjoying your self! He will def be on you like cream on an oreo!!!!!!!!

  • Maya Diablos

    Hi Patti. I have been dating this guy for 3 months now. Is it okay for me to bring up about us being exclusive or should a guy initiate this talk dont want to scare him away, but I want to know where things stand as well. We havent met each others friends/family yet either. Again not sure if I should wait and see if he initiates that first or just ask him to have dinner with my family and see what his reaction is.

    Thanks!

  • Rima

    I have a male friend who has a girlfriend already. I know it’s not right to mingle with him more than a friend should be. We text each other, we go out after work everyday and we have some quite time alone just lying and sharing thoughts. He introduced me to some of his friends and he let me go to parties with him including his family. At some point, during this things were happening, his gf called and asked him whether he is seeing someone else. It came to a point that they broke up because of me because someone told his gf regarding seeing us oftenly in public. Nevertheless, it has been resolved. Then there was a time again that his gf called and talked to me. I told his gf that there’s nothing going on between me and her bf. At that point, he broke with his gf and tried to console me after letting me cry for a while. That same night, he texted me and told me not to worry. He even told me that they’re okay already. He lied. He just wanted me to feel okay. So we went on but after weeks and weeks he started to become aloof. He stopped texting goodnight already but he still invites me to parties and we still go for a walk after office hours. Do you think, there’s a possibility that he’s falling for me but he just can’t say it because they’re together again? And he let’s me think that he is texting and calling other girls and see my reaction towards it wherein I know.. I admit, I get jealous all the time because he used to text me goodnight and goodmorning but now no more. However, he still calls and we laugh at things and share some thoughts still.

    • Adey J

      No. He just wants sex with you and probably as many other women as possible.

  • Liz

    Hi Patti,

    What about shy guys? I am currently dating a shy guy now and have been for the past two 1/2 months. He’s so hard to read and its difficult to tell if hes really all that into me. He gets nervous around me, yet is his total self when we are hanging out with others. What should I think?

    • Eliza

      liz girl hope things are better but personally from my experience and professional opinion and after the opinion of other authors and experts I would say find yourself a different man and read the rules. Men are not really shy! He either goes for something or he doesn’t. It can be hard to hear but maybe it’s best to just let him go Hun and find someone who won’t leave u guessing.

      If he’s nervous around you ok let me ask you… Do you always contact him first ? Who spoke to who first when you met?
      If it is you… Understand this, you may like him but maybe u are not what he truly wants and he has you here til the girl he really really wants comes along… You see my dear there are always signs that we should pay attention too… Look at his actions. Is he “shy” in the bedroom also? My hunch is you spoke to him first and that’s why your unsure… If he spoke to you first maybe you wouldn’t have been so unsure. He’s himself around his friends you say…. Well test it if you think the philosophy is BS… Pull back and see if he’s really shy… If he really is this is what will happen… Don’t contact him… If he really likes u he’ll figure out that something is wrong and he’ll come after u I mean really come after you, if not it wasn’t meant to be!
      Test him… It is early so test him… If u stay with him and after 2 more months your still unsure EXIT… Next!

  • de

    Rima-
    Get your own man. Pathetic moping around in the background crying about someone elses bf sending you goodnight txts. Women these days are severely lacking in self respect and boundaries. smh.

  • Sophie

    I’ve been with my boyfriend almost 6 months I fell for him as soon as I met him. 2 months in he got cold feet and said he wasn’t ready for a relationship but before me he did exactly the same with 2 other relationships a few years ago so we thought that might of been playing on his mind. I have a 3 year old son and want to grow old with my partner I want to be loved but my boyfriend says he won’t say it as he doesn’t want to lie. He doesn’t send me nice texts because he doesn’t think to and doesn’t want to just send them because I want them because that’s a lie. I don’t know what to do as I am obviously not enough. Help

    • Eliza

      Darling Sophie,

      First of all stop this… THINK AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE ENOUGH! Go and read these two books now 10 days to better self esteem by David Burns M.D,. And Sherry Argov’s Why men love bitches… Nope it’s about confidence and self esteem. Date with self respect and self esteem.

      It’s almost been 6 months so I take it probably 5 months and a few weeks correct?! Well that’s long enough he’s clearly giving you a heads up before you waste anymore of your precious time… This line of he wasn’t ready for a relationship” means he actually didn’t want the other ex’s really and he also now is telling you he doesn’t want you and it won’t go anywhere… Thankfully you should RUN away not walk, RUN and never look back at him. You are on two seperate pages and even in 2 completely contrasting books from what you’ve said. He is telling you he isn’t looking for a future with you and believe me when he meets a woman he really wants he wil not feed her that line half way down the line of the relationship if anything he’ll be minding his p’s and q’s and thinking about marrying the woman! I also sense he knows your abit insecure on this matter so he’s subtly helping you… Don’t call him back, don’t sit at home moping about him or previous lovers either – woman your gorgeous inside and out and here’s what you should do with your fabolous self.. Wipe you eyes, say to yourself I’m amazing and I’m gorgeous and enough. Go and also borrow those books from the library or better yet if you can afford them right now buy them and click this link right now http://www.therulesbook.com
      Get yourself on a dating website…match.com is great. Stay away from POF (plentypffish) why? Two guys 1 has HIV and doesn’t mention it one of my friends found out the hard way and second guy has chalmidiya but states it on his profile. Disgusting.. You also get married men just looking for mistresses on POF and guys looking for casual date nights with friends with benefits so the nice dating sites and Mysinglefriend.com is great and even ask Patti if she could set u up… Your partner could be anywhere but just not this douche bag! Xx I wish you success , love and use your feminine power – acknowledge you have an irrestible power and gift… Men can’t function without women and it’s true also that there is a man for you who can’t function til he has you so don’t pursue a man but really get in the game so your man can find u lovely! X

  • Ann-Maree

    Hi Patti

    Here’s an interesting one for you. I met a surgeon who happens to be my now customer. The attraction is intense and unlike most surgeons there’s no sleaziness to him – nothing but complete chilvary. We’re not living in the same city currently, just a few hours drive and he’s travelling overseas alot but the 2 dates we’ve been on have involved drinks, dinners, movies that last 6 hours – even the nights movies aren’t involved. He’s commented consistently but subtly on how beautiful he thinks I am, has told me some very personal and professional things that I’m a handful of people that know and last week told me theres 5 people he’s met in his life that he’s had a connection with within minutes and I’m one of those 5. He talks to me as though I’ll be in his life working with him one day and it’ll be our business and asks me for my ideas and thoughts……he’s asked me to be his Practice Manager – knowing full well that in more cases than not the wife is the manager due to the large financial transactions.
    We do not stop talking and laughing when we are together and there’s always the occasional touch – he puts my jacket on for me a removes my hair from underneath my collar and the list goes on.
    He’s a super intelligent busy man who is currently outside of the operating theate is the chief editor of a surgery journal. As soon as I leave town he’s back to business via email with some banter in between and says he’ll see me next time and always thanks me for the company.
    It’s only been 2 dates and he’s expressed how he wants to settle down and have children and is a romantic at heart. He has not kissed me!! He’s not shy either! I watched him in theatre and he teased me in front of the nursing staff in a sweet way
    Is this because he’s not interested and wants me in his future lifelong business because he likes how hard I work and that’s all it’s about.
    Is it because he’s my customer and dating a surgeon is not looked upon very highly at all.
    Or is he taking his time to get to know me or am I in the friends category despite his verbal words of his attraction and compliments for me. I got so nervous I blurted out and asked if he way gay – looked like I’d hit him with a bus!!!
    I feel like in an instant of knowing this man he was the one for me but am I obsessing way too early and with him being my client I don’t want to be presumptuous. I could lose the business with him and pay the consequences for it.
    He’s 39 and I’m 38. When he’s with me he’s attention is all on me – when he’s not with me he’s fairly quiet – except the emails – sometimes excuse emails for contact.

    I never get struck by lightening and I can see every part of me wanting everything this man has to offer – not money!! – his sense of humour, his chilvary, his ambition and drive, the way he treats me!! I am very confused!!!

    Help :)

  • Hottieb

    Hi patti. Have been talking to this guy for a month we met online a good while ago but we kinda lost contact only for him to get intouch lately and am sure I did like him seing his picture the first time online. Now that we’re talking he’s introduced me to 15 years old daughter pn phone and I did the same with mu 6 years old. He said he loves and I feel that I love him too eventhough weve not met in person.we talk for a very long time on phone most day nd night. He sends me funny jokes. We exchanged even old pictures hes already calling me his queen and he sounds so serious about me even tries to encourage me when I doubt him as we’ve not met in person but hes planning to meet up as soonest cuz I told him if he leaves iy for too long to meet then I couldn’t getweak. Am still waiting to confirm this relationship but I feel we’re both in love that we already dreamth of eachother for real. Please any advice. Thanks

    • Eliza

      Dear HottieB,

      What’s that hot burnette? :) ok.. First of all not implying that your silly but we’ve all been told this at some point.. Here it is : “Be Smart…Slow it down”.
      Recently read a similar story in a magazine and the guy turned out to be a complete liar. NOW, this may not be the case with you but you should still be sensible. Sometimes when we feel we are in love we find it hard to keep a presence of mind and see what’s really going on..
      I will caution you… Sweetie… Please do not put all your eggs in his basket… Do not think or feel he is the be and end all okay…. Remember it’s possible he might be serious but be careful. The good news is he got in touch with you but your vague with most of the situation. REMEMBER as a mature woman you don’t have time to time to waste… Please ensure you let him meet you somewhere convenient near your home but not at your home. Further more also learn to control your emotions – you wrote in a way that sends out the signal to me as a reader that you are quite caught up and becoming invested… Be careful again… Pull back. You don’t know if everything he’s given you via typeology and via phone and skype or whatever is all concrete. When in doubt listen to your gut! Don’t mind his talk – watch his actions to best gage where his head and heart really is! The mouth can say anything…it’s quick as u no!
      Take a step back and also try not to show him your very very happy and in need of this relationship to happen and be what you truly want…yes you may both be grown and you may not be playing games but until you meet him and observe him with your mind and eyes – hold your heart and guard it up because only you can do that… Better to take it slow and remember to pace the relationship – if you let him it’ll be over in a flash and then you’ll be in a state of “Patti/ friends… What happened? I don’t know what happened!” Don’t be in this situation. And don’t physically introduce him to anyone important in your life first, let him do this. And CAUTION AGAIN…. Stay away from the 1 hour and 4 hour phone calls… Have some mystery about yourself – don’t give it all away else he’ll be bored. Remember the candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long! Use your head… Don’t sleep with him either quickly but don’t mention when you will or why you won’t… The reason you don’t is to look out for yourself and to protect your heart and child…. This way you give yourself time and him time (you can suss him out) before you really consider investing… Let him always call you and return his calls sometimes – don’t always be waiting around for him. So I hope you will listen to my words of reason and play your cards right whether it’s with his guy or another one! Until you know his game also date other people – it’ll help you not to be so hang up about him and if it doesn’t work out u always have a pick of Johnny, Freddie, Alex, Joe, Greg, Anthony, David or Steven. You get the picture…. He basically has the power to hurt u unless u are proposed too and unless u let him so for let him. Play smart with the matters of the heart. Enjoy your day and remember your beautiful xx

  • Eliza

    Dear HottieB,

    What’s that hot burnette? :) ok.. First of all not implying that your silly but we’ve all been told this at some point.. Here it is : “Be Smart…Slow it down”.
    Recently read a similar story in a magazine and the guy turned out to be a complete liar. NOW, this may not be the case with you but you should still be sensible. Sometimes when we feel we are in love we find it hard to keep a presence of mind and see what’s really going on..
    I will caution you… Sweetie… Please do not put all your eggs in his basket… Do not think or feel he is the be and end all okay…. Remember it’s possible he might be serious but be careful. The good news is he got in touch with you but your vague with most of the situation. REMEMBER as a mature woman you don’t have time to time to waste… Please ensure you let him meet you somewhere convenient near your home but not at your home. Further more also learn to control your emotions – you wrote in a way that sends out the signal to me as a reader that you are quite caught up and becoming invested… Be careful again… Pull back. You don’t know if everything he’s given you via typeology and via phone and skype or whatever is all concrete. When in doubt listen to your gut! Don’t mind his talk – watch his actions to best gage where his head and heart really is! The mouth can say anything…it’s quick as u no!
    Take a step back and also try not to show him your very very happy and in need of this relationship to happen and be what you truly want…yes you may both be grown and you may not be playing games but until you meet him and observe him with your mind and eyes – hold your heart and guard it up because only you can do that… Better to take it slow and remember to pace the relationship – if you let him it’ll be over in a flash and then you’ll be in a state of “Patti/ friends… What happened? I don’t know what happened!” Don’t be in this situation. And don’t physically introduce him to anyone important in your life first, let him do this. And CAUTION AGAIN…. Stay away from the 1 hour and 4 hour phone calls… Have some mystery about yourself – don’t give it all away else he’ll be bored. Remember the candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long! Use your head… Don’t sleep with him either quickly but don’t mention when you will or why you won’t… The reason you don’t is to look out for yourself and to protect your heart and child…. This way you give yourself time and him time (you can suss him out) before you really consider investing… Let him always call you and return his calls sometimes – don’t always be waiting around for him. So I hope you will listen to my words of reason and play your cards right whether it’s with his guy or another one! Until you know his game also date other people – it’ll help you not to be so hang up about him and if it doesn’t work out u always have a pick of Johnny, Freddie, Alex, Joe, Greg, Anthony, David or Steven. You get the picture…. He basically has the power to hurt u unless u are proposed too and unless u let him so for let him. Play smart with the matters of the heart. Enjoy your day and remember your beautiful xx

  • Victoria

    Hi Patti,

    Me and my boyfriend have been together for a month now! It’s not a long time , but I feel like I could be myself around him, and everything seems a little happier! I was a virgin when I met him.. After three weeks of dating, I gave him my virginity :/ he asked me if I was sure… And without doubt I said yes! I didn’t regret it though. I’m not too easy right? I feel like he “loves” me more after we had sex. Even though he hasn’t said it yet.. We did discuss about sex, of how it’s not the most important part of the relationship, but it’s just a part of it.
    There are little things he does that say “he loves me” in a way, but I’m not too sure and I don’t want to make any judgment. For example when we were watching movies, he would rest his hand on my knee, and started rubbing , running his fingers on my legs. He would kiss my shoulder and my back if we were spooning. He would kiss my forehead unexpectedly. He likes holding my hand in public. He always takes care of the bill. He doesn’t mind driving me home or pick me up whenever I need him, even though we live 50km away! He would watch a scary movie with me even though he doesn’t like scary movies at all! Whenever he drives me home, he would rest his hand on my thigh.. He would kiss me unexpectedly when we are stuck In traffic. He would stare into my eyes and smile after we kissed.. I sometimes asked him what he’s thinking when he gave me that cute smile and he simply replied “nothing”. There are these little things that he does that show he has a deep feeling for me, but I’m not sure if it’s love. He did admit that he’s “very very much falling for” me :)
    He is also very understanding. I explained to him when we started dating that my family doesn’t want me to be in a relationship while I’m studying. He understands and he said education is very important and he supports me all the way, but he still wants me to keep seeing me and he has no intention of seeing anyone else. Of course I was speechless when I heard his reply. I smiled and kissed him. He knows that I won’t be able to spend time with him every week because I have to spend time studying and I also have work as well. I did tell him that we could say goodbye now before anything gets too serious but he doesn’t want to, and obviously I don’t want to either. He’s a great guy and I think I am falling hard for him :( but it’s a bad timing for me. I’m not sure how long this relationship is going to last (I asked him this question as well but he said “as long as I’m with him, he’s not going anywhere”) it’s going too great and it scares me a little.

    So my question is, Is he really into me?
    Or Does he love me?

    Kind regards,
    Victoria

    • jnaad

      @ Victoria, damn, you are so good at description. I bet you will make a good romance novel writer. Coming to your question, I understand how you feel. At times, good things could be too wonderful to be real. I will say, that should not bother you. Just enjoy the good times with your man. Life is too short to worry about meaningless things. All relationships have ups and downs and yours wil be no exception. For now, concentrate more on the happy part and your studies of course. Who knows? Maybe your man too wants settle down for something real. Goodluck and enjoy!

    • Danielle

      Victoria’s situation is 95% like mines, except im still a virgin, and we only hang out when we are both off from work. I met him when i was set in my mind that i was not going to fall or have interest in any male anymore. Then i met him, we became friends, he asked me for my number, and from chatting all night, we became “best friends” and alittle more. Somtimes we like to say “whoever you get in the future is lucky, because you are a great person” and once he said ” i will make a good girlfrend and better wife for someone” (i kno when i talk about “someone in his future” im underhandedly hoping it would b me, and im pretty sure its the same thought for him. I love when kisses me playfully, and he loves to lay on my chest as i hold him, he gets drowsy just laying on me. He said the only person he feels that comfortable with is his mother, so he likes that he can be with me also. Speaking of mother, i did meet her, when i dropped him home once, she wanted to meet me, and he’s like “its up to you if you want to meet her to” so i did. She liked me, which is good, and i told her im going to Florida for college. Later on, “he” texted me saying, mom told him tht he needs to go to college to get a trade, and that i may see his face up in florida to. Sometimes when he kisses me, he pulls away and asks “would it be wierd if i followed you to florida?” Because he is sad that im leaving. We have known each other for about 2.5 months, and im worried, is this how stiff like this goes??? Im not worried that he isnt falling for me, i mean come on, when i dont text back for a while, he texts me “*clingyness alert* boo text back please :S” (yes he admits his clinginess and and that he is in deep for me) ( or nicknames, he calls me boo, i call him kitty, because i met him while he was watching cat videos, and i jump and yelp like im frighten when he pokes my sides). But as i said, im leaving in a month after knowing him for 2.5, and i cant do long distance things, but he says “as long as i dont forget about him”. But the main thing is, i am braced for anything, i wont leave myself too vulnerable because i got too over confident then life rips him from me because he wsnt the future for me. But what if he is???

  • nina

    Hi
    I have been dating with this guy about 3 times.
    In the first month he was texting me every day. He
    Was all crazy about me. He even introduced me
    To his best friends last week. After that the attention
    Slowed down.
    And now nothing!
    No sweet messages. No dating plans.
    Not even proper answers on my texts.
    I don’t know what to do!!

    • LG

      One word… NEXT!

      People who want you in their life will put you there… without question.

    • julie

      This exact thing is happening to me right now…all of the sudden he puts the breaks on after a few months..at what point do we just give up? He is still in contact, but its not the same …

  • amanda hanson

    Dear Patti, I have been dating my boyfriend four months now. He’s a really respectful guy, opens doors, carries my bags. He’s introduced me to most all of his family and friends. He’s a very adventurous person as am I, and has even made suggestions in participating in activities together. He just spent the last four days with me, and they were amazing, we get along so well. We were laying in bed last night and I felt it in my gut to tell him I love him. He replied “I really do like you a lot, I’ve only loved one girl before, and I want to be sure this time. He said I’ll get there, just not yet.” What does this mean?

  • lungman

    Hi Patti:
    I met this female attorney 4 months ago. She is in an office in a different building but because of chance we had to interact (not a lawsuit by the way LOL). Months pass and 2 weeks ago she contacts me via an online dating site and gives me her number. I thought we hit it off (or so I thought) as me or her would call each other every night and talk for 1-2 hours.She has told me a few times that she really likes to spend time with me and that I am an amazing guy. We talk about everything, our families, fears, children (she asks those questions much more than I do). We kissed after 1 week and she asked me if I dated multiple girls at the same time. I said no, accepted monogamy and offered being boyfriend/girlfriend. She declined to the latter. After a few days I canceled my subscription to the dating site we contacted through and she was upset at me. We have spent the night at each other’s place a couple of times. She has introduced me to some friends of hers (one of them an older attorney that she sees as a mentor). After 2 weeks, she still is very clear that we are not boyfriend/girlfriend.

    I don’t fool around. I don’t think she does either because we still talk / see every day at times that would make cheating uncomfortable. My question is how do I read if she wants me as “friends with benefits”, “boyfriend material”. or something else. I don;t have any skeletons hiding and have told her that I really care about her.
    She is gorgeous while I am OK. Miami is filled with bodybuilders so she would have no problems getting another “friends with benefits”

  • Cate

    Hi Patti,

    So, I’ve been dating this guy for over a month. We have been on a lot of dates .I’ve met his friends and his coworkers. We started getting intimate about two weeks ago, and I moved things along pretty slowly. (I was a virgin). I really like him. He’s the first guy I’ve felt really drawn to, who made me laugh. He bought me things that he knew I liked, and we’ve done a lot of fun activities together. The first night we fooled around I was really worried that I was bad at it and he wouldn’t like me. He seemed okay, and we cuddled the next morning and had nice time. Then, we had sex a week later. He’d been drinking a little, and I was sober. I was ready. I’m 26, and I really liked him. I didn’t think it was a love thing, but a connection. All things considered, it went a lot better than I thought it would. But, the next morning wasn’t like when we fooled around. We didn’t cuddle much. Though, there were things that needed to be done. I left my earrings and gloves at his house. The next morning he wanted to meet up to return them. I suggested lunch. We met up for lunch and talked and then headed our separate ways. But, something felt different. It could be me imagining things. I mean, I really could be over thinking this because I slept with him and he’s the first guy I’ve ever been with. But, when he kissed me good bye there wasn’t as much… in it. Usually when he kisses me it seems like he has to force himself to stop. But, this time he kissed me, smiled and we parted ways. Am I being insecure? I worry that maybe he didn’t enjoy the sex or maybe he doesn’t like how inexperienced I am. He’s going on a business trip for three weeks and maybe I’m just worried he won’t want to see me when he gets back. I’ve always had issues with getting attached to people. I’ve held back. But, I decided not to hold back with this guy. Maybe that was the wrong decision.

  • polly

    Hi Patti, I got a problem, I broke up with my boyfriend, and all was going well til I found out he has a new girlfriend. That stired me up, is it just plain jealousy, or am I still interested ? Im totally confused…

  • nancy Alfred

    my name is Nancy from CANADA, I want to thank Esango Priest for what he did for me he brought happiness back into my life. My boyfriend left me and told me it was over between us two, I was devastated as I loved him so much and decided to contact a spelI caster who did a love spell and he told me that in three days my boyfriend will call me and beg me to accept him I thought he was joking in three days everything happened as he said I am so happy now.You can also contact him at; esangopriest@gmail.com for any kind of spiritual help