Sexless Affair or Just a Friendship?

He’s someone I work with. I didn’t think much of him at first. We talked a little but mostly just went out for lunch with other coworkers. After awhile we broke off from the group and the two of us starting going out to lunch together. Then we started talking outside of work, mostly just text and email. He was a good listener and I could tell him anything. I didn’t think anything of it, he was just a friend. As a relationship coach and therapist, I regularly help couples who are dealing with issues of infidelity. The workplace is one of the top places where cheating happens, and the above scenario is one I repeatedly hear. This type of affair is the sexless affair, also known as the emotional affair. The boundaries between it and a friendship can be blurry, so how do you know the difference? Read more

Don’t Make This Dating Mistake

You finally met someone. You’ve had several email and text exchanges, and maybe you’ve even talked on the phone or had a date or two. You think this person is great, and you wonder if he could be “The One”? The only problem is, you barely even know the guy. Read more

To Divorce, or Not to Divorce?

You think your marriage may be over. You’ve even contacted a divorce attorney but still have some nagging doubts. How do I know for sure? Did we really try everything? If you’re confused and worried whether you’re making the right choice with divorce, you’re not alone. Around 25-30% of people who are in the divorce process still hope to reconcile with their spouse. Read more

Why You Really May be Dismissing the Nice Guy

Ok ladies, ‘fess up. Have you been on a great date with a nice guy but he just didn’t do anything for you emotionally? He called when he said he would, confirmed plans, was a gentleman…but nothing in the feelings department. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Read more

The Most Toxic Relationship Behavior

Do you have interactions between you and your partner where you feel your partner is mean and even downright cruel, or vice versa? Do you feel like your partner is disgusted by you, or maybe you’re disgusted by your partner? If so, you’re in dangerous relationship territory. Read more

Finding Your Mate: From “The Right One” to “A Good One”

Couple celebrates finding their soulmate in one another
Singles come to me to help them find love. One of the things I commonly hear is, “I want to find Mr./Mrs. Right” or “I want to find ‘The One.’” Even clients who are in a relationship ask me, “How do I know if the person I’m with is ‘The One’?” One of the common criteria I hear that people use to determine if their partner is a good fit is whether there are problems while dating or in a relationship. “Anita, if you’re with the right person, you’ll rarely experience conflict. Right? Right?!?” Read more