So you just broke up with your boyfriend and you’re devastated, probably eating ice cream straight out of the bin and then what? How are you supposed to cope with such an eye-opening and traumatic reality you’re now faced with? Well you know what they say, if you’re going through hell, keep going!
It was very hard, but certain things helped me through my breakup with my boyfriend of five and a half years. I felt like I was going to die, I thought my breakup defined me and ruined the best years of my life. Well, I am a very dramatic girl at times and took that into consideration, then soon a light went off in my head and I realized that this was all about my perspective. I was looking at my situation completely wrong. Rather than seeing my breakup as ‘ruining’ me and my happy and peaceful state and life I had created for myself and seeing this breakup as taking away crucial years of my life, I decided to turn it around for myself and make this breakup about me and my life, making myself believe that this was meant to happen and this ‘shaking up of my circumstances’ was actually the universe redirecting me to where I am supposed to be. So I stopped looking at it as a negative thing or this big scary breakup monster, and forced my mind to see it as a positive and beautiful life transition for the sake of personal growth and deepening my life experience. They also say that a pessimist sees hardship in every opportunity, and a optimist sees opportunity in every hardship and that is exactly what I did and this is how I did it:
Here are some tips from my own personal break up manual:
Make this time about strengthening your relationship with yourself
Look, you’re already in it, why not make the best of it? You cannot change what happens to you but you can change how you handle and react to what happens to you. So what are you going to do? Sit there and suffer or make the best of the cards that have been handed to you? Buddha said that suffering ends as soon as acceptance begins, and that is just what I did. I accepted the circumstances and as soon as I did so, I instantly felt better and things started to change for me. I decided to stop morning the death of my 5 and a half year relationship and rather, recycling that energy back into myself rather than waist my thoughts, emotions and time on someone else. It was difficult at first, but I made myself start to take long walks with myself, which then turned into long runs. I took on a strict workout regimen to give myself an extra boost of happiness and confidence, improving my body and clearing my mind. I also began to take this time to meditate and reflect on my innermost desires, fears and goals so that I could hone in on what I really needed the most, to be the best version of myself. I began to eat really clean, because believe it or not what you put in your body really does affect your mind! The combination of meditation and self reflection, exercise, eating really clean all truly helped me feel (and look) my best, which made me proud of myself and ultimately strengthened my relationship with myself, making me extra happy about life in general! Because no matter what, you are your own best friend, or if you want to be a pessimist, you can be your own worst enemy, you decide.
Don’t watch romantic movies, romantic comedies, listen to sad music or look at old pictures
OK watching romantic movies or listening to sad music during a breakup might be acceptable for a day or so, but then girlfriend you need to get it together and move it. Watching and listening to sad things is like eating only junk food for a month when you want to lose weight, it’s just going to make you fatter… It’s totally counterproductive, so why? As much as you want to listen and watch sad things that align with and express how you feel inside, resist the temptation and go watch a comedy, go make yourself smile and laugh, push yourself to go outside of your sad mental state and I guarantee you will not only feel better you will be so happy you didn’t mope on the negative. If you force yourself to believe you’re happy, you will actually trick your mind to create a positive vibration throughout your body, and that my friends, will attract more positive instantaneously, making you happy! Soon enough you’ll find yourself beaming with positive feelings and experience more positive situations. Have you ever seen those people who are always happy in any situation? Well they know this trick. It’s physics, it’s the law of attraction… and it involves energy. You must energize what you want the most and focus on that through your thoughts and emotions (which work like magnets and draw in more of those same thoughts and emotions that are on the same wavelength) the rule is – ‘like attracts like’. So if you’re moping around and depressed, you’re going to just keep being like that until you switch your energy and vibration, which needs to be done through the mind via your thoughts and feelings.
Do something just for you – join a new spin class, etc.
Is there something you’ve always wanted to do or try but never did? Well this is your chance. Just go do it. Whatever it might be, like taking up a new sport you’ve always had your eye on, making new friendships or going crazy and partying for a week straight without sleeping. Whatever crazy wild fantasies you had while you were with your boo but never could seem to do because you were tied down, go do it because now is the time! You are a fool if you do not take advantage of this bad situation and turn it into a self-growth situation! This is what breakups and hardships in our lives are actually here for, they are not here to make us sad and make us stand still, they are here to awaken us and to inspire us to be better, to do more and to live better.
Travel somewhere you’ve never been before
This one helped me probably the most out of any of these tips. I was suffering, literally broken and it physically hurt I didn’t know what to do or how to make it go away. I can’t stress enough how important it is in any hard time of your life, especially a breakup, to expose yourself to new experiences, and what better new experience can you have then traveling somewhere totally unfamiliar and exotic to what you’ve always known? This is a guaranteed growth instigator, you will most definitely and almost instantly get out of your rut and grow in new ways you never experienced before. When I was going through my breakup my girlfriends and I took a trip to Italy and it was the best thing I could have done for my soul, I exposed myself to a new culture, ate new food, met new people and saw new opportunities for my life that had nothing to do with my old life. Traveling somewhere new will give you a fresh new outlook on life, bring out new feelings, experiences and passions that will incite and activate your soul. This is guaranteed to bring you out of your rut!
Make this time about strengthening your friendships
This one HUGE! Instead of moping and focusing on what you don’t have in your life (a boyfriend) focus on what you do have in your life and throw all your energy into it. Like your amazing and strong friendships, make them even stronger! Maybe you spent too much time focusing on you and your boo that your friendships need a nice revamping and strengthening to your connection. Lean on your friends at this time, they will absolutely make you feel better. Take this time to do all the things you normally would have done with your boyfriend, do it with your friends. Basically, make your friends your new boyfriend. You don’t want to sleep alone and you miss your boyfriend? Go sleep at your best girl friends house. You miss going out on dates with your boyfriend and going to your favorite restaurant? Find a new restaurant and make dates with your girls. Boyfriends are no different than friends; they are all fundamental relationships that are so special and necessary for us.
Buy yourself some new clothes, treat yourself to a facial or do something that will make you feel pretty and fresh
Revamp yourself! Go do something different and refresh your view of yourself, go feel fabulous and beautiful. This is guaranteed to counteract any rut that you might be in after your breakup. This will help you see a new perspective of yourself and will help you see that life does go on after him, especially important, you will see that you look even hotter after the breakup!
Implement these tips into your life and see yourself feel better in no time! Remember, this too shall pass and you will come out on top and even more fabulous than before so don’t worry. If you trust in your instincts and find peace with yourself you cannot go wrong.