I’ve discussed it on this site a million times. Online dating and dating apps are must-dos if you’re looking for love. There is absolutely no room to negotiate there. If you’re not looking for love online, you’re simply not trying. End of story. That being said, online dating isn’t a walk in the park. It’s a whole lot of work and can get exhausting, especially dating apps like Tinder. So, I thought that I’d talk to real women who found love on Tinder and pick their brains for important lessons we single girls can learn from their success. I found their answers to be super interesting and I hope you do, too!
Open Tinder everywhereTinder is location based. That means that it will serve up potentials dudes for you based on where you are when you’re looking at the app. So, if you’re traveling, you’ll get a whole different crop of fellows than the men you see when you’re home. If you’re a woman with your eyes on a long-term relationship, you might not even bother opening the app when you’re out of town because you’re not looking for a vacation fling. Well, I talked to Natasha and she’d definitely recommend being open to travel romance because it can turn into the real thing. She met her soul mate, Ido, while on a trip to Israel. “I was only supposed to stay for 3-5 months but have now been in Israel for just over a year. I have even become an Israeli citizen to fully embrace my life in this new country.” They’re very much in love and on their way to getting engaged. Mazel, Ido and Natasha! Let that be a lesson for you all. An out of town connection can open doors to a brand new life in a brand new place! So, embrace that possibility by opening your app wherever you are!
Reward the persistent onesOne tough thing about Tinder is that it’s nearly impossible to gauge chemistry based on a few pictures and a small little blurb of text. Even when it comes to the chatting, it can be difficult to get a sense of someone’s personality. What’s easy to tell is how serious a man is about pursuing you. A man who continues to follow up, asks engaging questions and invites you out is worth meeting. You want an aggressor, a hunter, a real man who knows he really wants you! Shannon told me that her current boyfriend Paul was very persistent on Tinder. “(I a)voided meeting him at all costs, but finally gave in and that was it! We’ve been together for a little over a year and are moving in together in the near future,” she says. So, give that guy who follows up a chance and stop daydreaming about the dud who only writes “hi” and can barely offer one word answers.
Don’t give upLike I said, Tinder is tough. It can wear you down, for sure. But, it’s important to never give up! There are a lot of losers and penis pics on the app, but there are also a lot of quality men. And you only need one! Christen met her love Jason just as she was about to sign off Tinder. “I was just about to give up on the app, then I decided to go out on one more date. Thank God I did!” She met Jason on that extra date and they “have been dating for a little over a year now. We have had so much fun, and he blows any guy I’ve ever dated out of the water.” Christen never would have found this happiness if she didn’t keep going out on Tinder dates. So, don’t give up. Keep swiping! He’s out there!
Be ready to move quickly
One common thread I noticed with most of the women I talked with about their Tinder love was that their relationships move quickly. I can’t quite figure out why Tinder connections turn into serious relationships more frequently than other dating apps I’ve looked into, but it really seems to be true. I spoke to one woman, who wanted to stay anonymous, and she gave me this timeline. “We were matched on November 23, 2013, and kinda hit it off right away. We started dating that February, moved in with each other in June and then got engaged Thanksgiving of 2014! He’s a great guy, and I’m beyond happy. We are getting married October 14, 2016 and I could not be more excited.” An engagement within a year! Not too shabby, Tinder!
Let friends help
Peer pressure isn’t necessary a bad thing when it comes to online dating. Friends can be the force that gets you to actually sign up for an account and they can also be really helpful with picking matches and getting conversations started. A delightful woman named Hope told me that she and her friends regularly take spins on each other’s Tinder accounts. “My girlfriends and I would go to Wine Wednesday and trade phones with each other and play on each other’s Tinders. It’s always been a joke to us and a way to meet people as I like to move around a lot. I let my friend Karen start the conversation with anyone I had matched with and Zach wrote back.” Zach and Hope went out the very next day and have been together every since. I vote Karen for wing woman of the year! Try and find your own personal Karen and let that friend take the reins on your dating life for a bit.
One of the many great things about Tinder is that it open doors that you think were completely welded shut. For example, Emma has been with her boyfriend over a year. She saw him on Tinder and “recognized him instantly because we had a mutual friend,” she said. “I thought he had a girlfriend so I nearly swiped left straight away…After checking with a friend I found out he was single and swiped right. It was a match!” And the rest is history for those two! Emma never would have known this fellow was single if Tinder didn’t bring him to her attention. Don’t automatically swipe men you recognize out of your life. Give them a chance. You never know what could happen!
Happy swiping, everyone! If you have dating stories from any other apps you’d like to share, please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’d love to hear them and use them to inspire other singles to get out there and start swiping!