Going back to a dude’s place for the first time is big step. Now, I’m no prude. I know this sometimes happens the night you meet a man. And I’m all for one night stands if that’s what you need, sister! Go for it! However, your one night stand men aren’t your forever men and they aren’t what this post is about. I’m talking about the first time you go over to a dude’s house when you’re considering seriously dating him. This home visit should probably fall somewhere between your first kiss and your convo about being exclusive. And here’s what you can learn when you walk in the door.
What he’s like at his best
Take a look around his pad. This is what it looks like when it’s dolled up, decked out and as clean as it can be. What do you think? If the place is still grody or totally unlivable, it’s definitely something to keep in mind when you think about your future. If you’re a neat freak, you’ve got a lot of compromising coming your way. If he didn’t clean up at all, that says a lot about his best, too. His best feels pretty lame. Why isn’t he rolling out the rest carpet for you? If you like what you see, then breathe a sigh of relief. At least you’re into your man’s living style when it’s in tiptop shape. That’s a very, very good start.
If he’s a man or a boy
Men are strange creatures. They can be totally competent at work and in their social lives, but still need a mommy in their home life. Some men just never learn how to take care of themselves after they move out from their parents’ place. I call those men “boys,” no matter how old they are, because they live like unsupervised little kids would. You can tell from a quick glimpse of his place is he’s a man or a boy. If he never cooks at home, can’t fold his own laundry and his décor motif is “take-out container chic,” you’re looking at a boy. If his place is clean and he manages to live like a grown up, then he’s a man. Lady, you want a man in your life. Leave the little boys back in high school.
A man’s home can tell you a lot about his priorities. Look at what he displays. If it’s family photos, then he probably values his family relationships. If it’s all sports memorabilia, then you could be looking at a future as an NFL widow if you’re not into sports. Is his furniture set up for socializing? Then he’s probably into hosting and his friend group. If he just has one recliner in front of a TV, alone time might be his priority. Take a look around for little clues that can help you figure out what this new dude’s priorities are and then think about if they match up with yours.
No matter what, trust that gut feeling you get right when you walk in the door. If you’re into what you see, that’s great. If you think his place reveals something not so appealing about this guy’s character, you’re probably right. Here’s hoping you learn a lot of good things from this first visit and not a lot of icky things.