One of the most common questions I get from single people is “What am I doing wrong?” And honestly, there answer is normally one of three main things. Any one of these three things can flat out ruin your dating life. But, the good news is that they’re all fairly easy to fix. So, if you’re doing any of the three below dating life ruiners, you can turn things around pretty quickly. Here they are.
Being too busy
Dating takes time. And if you don’t have time, you can’t date. That seems really simple, right? But, so many people can’t see that what’s getting in the way of finding love is finding the time. And “finding” time really means prioritizing dating in your life. Being too busy to do something really means that you’re not prioritizing that thing in your life. You’re never too busy for your job, right? Why? Because you prioritize that as a must-do item on your agenda. Do the same thing with dating. When I’m single, I like to reserve two nights a week for first dates. Even when I don’t have anything on the books, I still keep the nights open and more times than not, a last minute online date will arise. You’ll be surprised what might pop up for you if you make the time for it.
Diving into love
Falling in love is a process that can last a lifetime. Falling in love can be so gradual, it should actually being called “floating in love” instead of “falling.” That would be more accurate. When you fall super quickly, like right away on a first date or worse, through a dating profile, you’re bound to be disappointed because you’ve basically fallen in love with a figment of your imagination. The second this person does anything that doesn’t match with this made up person you’ve created—even if it’s not bad, just not exactly who you imagined them to be—you’ll be crestfallen and over them. So, instead of building someone up in your mind, fall for them based on what you experience with them. Don’t expect sudden sparks of a forever kind of love from your first exchange on Tinder or before you order a drink. Take your time and let love happen on its own. You’ll be giving your dates a more fair chance and, frankly, giving yourself a better chance, too.
Not scheduling your swipes
Being single is a full time job. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration. It’s like a part-time babysitting job. It takes up a few hours a week, but during those hours, you need to be hyper-involved. I spoke about making time for dates above, but you also need to make time for online dating. Swiping can seem mindless and like something you can do during commercials of show, but you should actually be paying a lot of attention to building and adjusting your profile, reading other people’s profiles, chatting with your matches and setting up dates. I’d say put aside thirty minutes a day for this. And really, enter it into your schedule so you don’t miss it. One warning: Don’t make your thirty-minute timeslot right before bed. Late at night is when the creepsters come out on the dating apps, so do your best to avoid that. I generally like the idea of doing this during a lunch break. Eat for thirty minutes and then spend your next thirty doing online dating.
If you’re doing any of the above, stop immediately! Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Just stop. You’re ruining your chances at love and one super easy fix could send you on your path to love!